Kelly’s, Winter 2017
Marathoner,
That nickname always got my attention with our potential. Know I always meant your other one in the most endearing way too, most of the time. Think you came up with it anyway. Hopefully rappers settle down about all this talk about AP watches at some point too.
How about the two pictures we ever got together lol? Think it pretty well sums up the inadequacy of what we ultimately added to be. So much left in the tank and unexplored. As much as I’ll sit here and wish you weren’t standing behind me that night at Kelly’s (yea that’s on you now too), I’d still never change it for the world.
You were right about me until this summer, that’s why I never questioned us not being together. If there is one thing I know, it’s things go exactly as they’re supposed to in life. I went and made nothing at the agency to learn how to do this. No way would I have been able keep you and treat you like I wanted. I was always honest with you. I also worked my ass off to change all that. We sold the golf company this winter and I owned some of it this time. Finally made that all worth it.
We’re starting it over with a new owner, new brand and have access to the PGA Tour. One of our guys is doing well out there and the TV commentator wants to push our stuff again. Was excited to tell you about it but never got the chance. Young guy, 45-50, just sold his part of a company that owned 300 hotels for a billion dollars lol with a B. His job was to travel to each of them, go around as a guest, see how they were run and if they wanted to buy them. What might be better is the story of the guy who ended up buying the company from them. Needless to say, very grateful and it’s nice we have money to play with and cool places to go.
In the meantime, this is something I’ve been more excited about. I’ve been working on it for more than a year straight in every off hour I’ve had and couldn’t wait to show you. It’s the company and website you’ll always have built. Nothing less than giving you the world was going to be enough. I also learned early on, nothing was going to be able to replace you if you really left, other than something as important to me as this and helping a crazy amount of people. Putting music on and working on this for hours is the only thing that can really keep my mind off you.
By the way, you might be able to see it and what’s below a little better on a computer at some point than if you’re on your phone. Can still read it though. Make the window more narrow to see more of the top picture. You’re the only one that can find this page too.
I was head over heals for you, I’ve spent every free night, off hour and weekend since you left for Paris last summer racing to finish this. This is how I loved you. I might only text so much and didn’t get to be there next to you but I loved the fuck out of you as hard as I could from a couple blocks away every chance I got. It was always going to take 18 months to build something big enough for you for that mattered, that I could also get going quickly and that didn’t cost much. 12 straight months of building and 6 months of sharing it and I figured I could at least get it in a pretty good spot hopefully before you thought about popping out a kid over there. Started pushing the Instagram a month and a half ago and I’m right on schedule, not so sure about you.
The first fundraiser to sign up was for the Fylan family a couple months I sent you a picture of. No matter what you decided, when it hit me how you pronounced that after working on their page for a couple days, I lost it. That did it for me, that justified my entire pursuit of you as ill founded and empty as it’s been. I woke up to an email from my first client to randomly find the site and sign up last Thursday morning. They officially went live Sunday morning of your wedding weekend. Free Wheelchair Mission.
Ok, you ready? To start, here’s the project I had for you to help on but you passed. It’s the Resource Center materials for the charities/fundraisers and others to use. The main page is linked right after this or I linked the individual pages of it in the buttons below if you want to check it out.
I always thought your yearbook experience was a great for it and something you might enjoy doing to help out the fam ;). God I can barely even joke around like that anymore.
Other than that, the chick in the white shirt and blue jeans on the “About Us” page and holding the bags on the “How We Support A Cause” page is your girl. Shout out to you and how bomb you could look in just jeans and a t-shirt (maybe some heels too). Kind of looks like you holding a bunch of shopping bags too. Landscaped the backyard and fixed the truck roof/hood (ohh wax). Body and diet keep getting stronger and healthier, you pretty much knew that and thank you some for both. The boat’s also here now going on the side of the house, you don’t have to drive by it on the way to the gym anymore. Speaking of.
Summer 2017, one of our lamer lake days and last real days together. You got surfing down though, were going for 20 minutes straight here. Boat looped several times lol.
Click to view full size. Also took a mental snapshot on a different day you were driving the boat in my hat and an all black swimsuit looking bomb af.
Funny what was on my bench when you asked. A fuck buddy I don’t see anymore had recently been divorced. She knew he wasn’t the one, married him anyway, came to the point to have kids and no way she could do it. The good news is I heard everyone feels good for you after you divorce the guy.
New one has a ring on her finger but is hearting texts too and inviting herself to the lake. She’s over on the right (below if you’re on your phone), funny the resemblance lol. Found out she got married 2 months ago, apparently marriage doesn’t magically change everything. After 50 questions to her husband and getting none back when I met him, I quickly understood you girls’ unease with these losers and bogus commitments.
I always had a pretty strict ring policy before you that I’ve also now realized was just a no diamond policy lol. Girl has a goofy little thing too. Wasn’t going to cross the line, can’t really back it up the same but she just told me the other day dad isn’t exactly the biggest fan of it all. Guy’s a foreigner and thinks he just did it quick to stay in the country. Hits a little close to home and guy’s out of town a few months so I might being saying fuck it soon. Also just told me her friends are out of town this weekend and I’m entertaining her lol. I don’t ask for this, just a beacon of perspective doing god’s work here.
Tell me you at least got a diamond on your finger now. That ring you were walking around with was so embarrassing for how cool and hot you are. Shelley was pretty worried about the guy’s commitment level with something like that lol. God, I would have put the exact opposite on your finger.
Girls like you settle for duds like that though. It happens all the time, my sister’s best friend just married a minor league baseball player at the Clayton House that day. You’re so capable and love helping so much, you’ll sign up for these guys that bring nothing to it. Put a roof over their head, feed them, clean up their ways and let them swim in your pool while you take care of their kid. Super wifey mom. But all the while knowing you’re not even with the best guy in your neighborhood? Haha get outta here.
Here’s what I made you for Valentine’s Day. Click the button to open it or learn more below.
It’s your own business. Little blonde girls always made me think of you and what ours would be like. I’d start seeing them everywhere sometimes. You made me want to go so far beyond what any guy could ever come close to doing for you. That meant doctors and lawyers all of a sudden and I was up to it. With all of the gifts you might have gotten, not sure anyone had made you something like this yet so I figured I’d start there and get back to flowers when you earned them again. Ones at the front of the store always had a good chance of reminding me of you and the fresh ones the island life would be getting over there every couple weeks.
You could imagine if you had 50,000+ social media followers and told them about your page and all of the good it was doing over and over, how much revenue you might be able to drive. That’s pretty much the idea with your page and the communities. If any celebrities, athletes or social media influencers want to use it, they can setup a page, choose the charities they want to support, share it with their following and make some money for doing it too if they want.
This is a page you can check out if you want to learn about how I help support your page and business.
Productswithpurpose.org/how-we-support-communities
It’s basically the same concept for the causes or the charities/fundraisers. They share their page with their following but all of the revenue goes straight to them. All of the revenue for your page (and other “community” pages) get’s split up between all of your charities and however much you choose to keep. Well besides the 5-10% management fee I take from everything too ;). Be sure to tell your dad you passed on the guy that was building this for you and chose the guy going to the bars every weekend instead when you start complaining to him about your husband.
Depending on when you read this, I just added more stores to the site and was able to increase the max donation from 15% to 35%, so some of the charity pages might still be getting updated.
Does Jeff use an iPad? You have to build every page for desktop, tablets and mobile phones separately. It’s pretty easy to forget to build for tablet and mobile after finishing the desktop version. Thinking of your dad always reminded to do it so the site would be solid if he ever saw it. You, your family and what was ahead of us were a huge part of this thing and what’s about to come.
Anyway, wow you guys got married! And fast for not having everything clicking. I was joking about being married by summer but you even beat that out lol. I’m a fan though, this is the only chance we had. The faster you two rush this along, the faster it can run straight into the ground. As turned off and disgusted as it all makes me, I at least didn’t want you to have the slightest bit of feelings left for this guy if we ever get a real shot at it and I still gave a shit.
Stop wasting anymore of your time, get over this guy and get on with your life. I’m done with not seeing you in your prime. I’m sorry, I normally wouldn’t get on you so hard and be happy for you but I’ve been around enough the last 18 months to know you two don’t have it. You’ve always known it and it’s nothing close to what we got. There’s no way it goes like that. I don’t hear from you after you get back in July or all spring. Or even after the first time you blindly committed to him late the summer before and were texting me by Thanksgiving. You can thank Jeff but tell him sorry, we’ll pay for the next one. You girls have a little better perspective about it all after divorce anyway.
At least don’t let this guy rush you into having kids too. Just be sure you know before that one, there’s no going back on that. What we’d have is too strong and pure to be dealing with any pieced together, 2.5 kid family. Especially knowing how you’ve felt about him all along. I get the timeline’s convenient for both of you to speed through it, pop out a couple kids before you’re 35 and even know what happened over there, I just don’t think 24 year old you is signing up for it. Asking to pause for a sec on kids sounds like the start of another fight though. If you could have just waited a year or two, you wouldn’t have been able to recognize the next 70.
It blows me away someone as good looking and cool as you puts up with fighting. “I think about you all the time, we fight so much.” Not words a smoke-show is usually telling a neighbor before sucking his face 2 months before her wedding. So dysfunctional. You either blast off to the moon together and get along nonstop day one, or don’t and go nowhere having the same fights the rest of your life. You realize that wouldn’t even be a part of our thing right? Hopefully it all goes better than your short engagement did. I’m not sure how it doesn’t crash and burn as fast and fleetingly as it was put together. But hey, fight it out, enjoy Target and prove me wrong, nothing would surprise me at this point.
How long before the wedding did you stop listening to AP2? lol. I don’t see the point of texting me all spring and sharing music like we did if you were just going to marry the guy. You can’t find a minute to go for a run or say goodbye? That might always sting some. Just always going to end up ghosting me? So cool. Should have been over this months ago and your cousin texts out of nowhere to tell me. Only thing I’ll ever wonder about is what you were thinking through all that and how much you ever actually gave a shit about him or me if I ever do look back.
May 2018, think we’ll remember this one, well some maybe more than others. Could have used better pics from the day but I wasn’t complaining.
Happy Anniversary ;)
When I heard from my ex about this whole French culture of putting titles on relationships before even the first date, it blew me away you’d fall for something like that. Slap a title on it and see how it goes. It wasn’t going well and you ended up doing it with your entire marriage. My ex was almost the kid’s mom too after their one date and said he was awful in bed. The stripper wasn’t impressed, but hey, good enough for you though. The whole thing just seems so special. With this other married one popping up now too there has to be some type of immigration stuff going on to keep him in the country or something, it doesn’t add up. What, do you get to leave him in 6 months and him and his kid can stay for a while again?
I think I mentioned it before but when you told me you were getting sick of being the bread winner, it made me realize how absolutely disrespectful it is to not do everything you can to give your partner and kids the world. It instantly made me realized I was working for more than just me that day. I was happy with how things were going but I’d be letting you down, our kids down, our grandkids down and all their families if I didn’t do absolutely everything I could every waking moment I had to make your lives as incredible as I could.
Him and others might have said they loved you and would do anything for you but I’ve actually been over here doing it nonstop since the moment we met as little as you’ve been aware of it. It was always about us, our family and our peace late in life. I’d run around here, blasting music and celebrating where we’d got to and what we’d built together in our careers and family when we looked back on it all. Not move in your house, rush you through an engagement and get you pregnant so you had to stay around. At some point the festivities end, house projects are done and you’re just there stuck with him. So odd to me how short sighted and hurried its all seemed.
If you click on the image over to right (above on your phone), you can see the plan for the next 5-10 years and a little bit more of what’s behind this. You don’t have to read through it but similar ones are what helped sell the golf company and raise money for it along the way. There wasn’t one quite like this one though, gotta be a little different. It’s been on the two venture capital guy’s desks and have kept it updated if I ever needed it. (Updated it again so I updated here to be fair. Turns out I thought about you some when I worked on this so I built a couple other things instead for a sec. Told you you inspired a few things right lol? Projections are dumb conservative now too.) Figured you also might as well know exactly what you’re turning down if you wanted. We never actually got to know that much about each other but it’s a glimpse into some of what I do and one of the plans in process for at least this part of your life. I was pretty serious about you, you meant a lot if you can tell.
By the way, random but here’s the first picture of yours I ever snapped of your IG and saved when we first started hanging out. I might have snapped like three others when the writing was on the wall that first summer too lol. Right around your mom’s and my birthday, shout out to my Leo sis, Cindy. Trying to get convinced that stuff matters, I say they need to experience more of the universe lol or not. Also helped to break up some more of the text but you already noticed that. Picture gets taller the more I type too and hey you’re the one still reading. God you were cute, I’d met nothing like you. And she can out run me? OK, marathoner.
End of the day I’ll miss your mind and miss your body some but there’s are a few reasons below why I think I never would have stopped gaining interest or falling in love with you. A pro wakeboarder from Australia posted a picture of his girl that said “It’s been nearly 8 years and I’m still trying to process what a stunner you are.” It was right after I saw you at Sprouts. Texts and words didn’t matter much after seeing you those couple days but thought it came close if anything could.
I wrote some of these below a few weeks ago, it might look a little different now. I won’t miss you always trying to find a reason not to like me with him involved but never being able to. I also won’t miss how little of all your love I ever got back for what we shared.
Boxes started popping up I didn’t even know existed when you came around. I was always drawn to the unlimitedness of our potential if we ever came together and where we’d already be starting day one to blast off from. Two people like us come together and we build something the world has never seen while enjoying the max fuck out of every moment with each other along the way. We both have so much to give, our 1+1 always added up to infinity.
As much as I was convinced we had it, we have completely different expectations of what marriage is and the sacredness of it though. Our pace, our connection and our hum was so much slower, deeper, stronger and more sustainable than anything you guys got and anything I’ve ever come close to experiencing. I was getting texted your whole relationship, I can say that. How well we both listen I think might have been one of the things that fucked with each other the most. Texting, dinner, Netflix, dance floor or activity room. What it felt like in front of your face and body was something that had no equal too. I don’t think I’ll ever understand, as calculated and well thought out as you are, how you signed up for this.
The website’s finished for now besides some final clean up. Clients are starting to use it and it all gets turned on in a month or two. Building the new golf company might slow me up a little but the podcast starts and I sign up charities and fundraisers as fast as I built this thing. You’ll have to try as hard not see my face and hear these people tell me stories about their charities, as I’ve had to work ignoring all the bullshit you brought 1,500 feet from my house. When hubby is letting you down, you’ll be able to see exactly what one guy would have been doing for you every extra hour, night and weekend he had.
I was wrong, this is you two’s neighborhood. I was getting out of here and heading to a hill with or without you as fast as I could since the moment I met you. As much as I can wish you weren’t at Kelly’s that night, it wouldn’t have happened any other way. I can’t thank you enough for the influence you had in my life good, bad and otherwise. If the site was ready for you, it was ready for everybody. If I was ready for you and a couple kids, I was ready for anybody. Like we’ve said, the next you will always like that you came around, if nothing else than for her shoe closet.
It’ll always be crazy to me to look back on the impact you made on my life seeing you what, a dozen times ever and texting some? I was so much more interested in all we had ahead us though. You fucked up. You picked the wrong guy, when way better was sitting right in front of you. I’d suggest not paying attention to anything I or the company you built does unless you finally want to realize that too.
Loved you a ton,
Man of your dreams
Our third time apart or together what sticks? Until AP3 ever gets written.
